I dont know what to do, im really confused.
It seems like ive spent most of my teen years confused about this problem.
Its so hard being to halves of nothing.
I am attracted to girls, there's one I have in mind. She's really beautiful.
But I don't think I can be bothered to chase her or work to get a relationship.
Do you always have to?
Why cant the right girl, one who i actually like, come along and like me?
So far the past 4 girls that have shown an interest in me have not been my type or I've not liked them.
I just cant seem to find anyone whos my type who I actually like.
And as well as being attracted to them I can see myself with them, kissing and spending
time and maybe more - obviously that builds on the foundations of a relationship so after
my feelings for them develop I would be able to see it more clearly.
But at the same time im attracted to guys and while I would like a girlfriend I long for male
companionship in that way, in terms of love and affection. I think about being with a guy
in affectionate ways - hugging, kissing, cuddling, and long for that too.
And I day dream about having a boyfriend. I have done for so long.
I dont really think about sex much with either sex, but im more of a making love
not meaningless fucking kind of guy - that is special and so I'd build up to it in a
relationship, as I said before.
Back to my original point, I'm confused. in the same way that right now I dont feel I want
to chase a relationship with a girl, I dont want to with a guy either - and that is so
much harder anyway, but with a guy I imagine it just happening, after the initial hurdle of
There seems so much pressure to have a girlfriend too with everyone either having someone
or liking someone.
And in the long term - what do I do?
Im young and have the whole of my twenties to find a girl to settledown and start a family
with (because I know for sure thats what I want) but I feel I need to experience both
kinds of relationship before that to satisy my curiousity.
oh I dont know, I dont know, I just dont know!